Saturday, October 31, 2015

PODCAST: Ghosthouse (1988) dir. Umberto Lenzi

a.k.a. La casa 3

What's scarier than the Lawrence Welk Halloween Special? The Lawrence Welk Halloween Special... broadcast over ham radio! Richard and I use our pickpocketing skeleton hands to sneak another chunk of audio enjoyment into your breast pocket. Call it a Halloween treat. Unwrap this poisoned Whatchamacallit to discover a chocolaty impassioned conversation about Umberto Lenzi's Ghosthouse (1988), a film that asks important questions like: who's a poster on more grown men's walls at this exact moment in Anchorage, Alaska, Simon Le Bon or Kelly Le Brock? Ghost candlesticks, man-handed clown puppet boyfriends, haunted RVs, and flesh-burning pits of Elmer's glue are but a few of the spooky treats you have to look forward to in this one. So sit back, unseal your 20-year-old bag of herb-seasoned croutons, and enjoy the Dooomed Show.

You can listen to the episode by visiting 
the show's Podomatic page or by examining the show archive.

Monday, September 28, 2015

PODCAST: Zombie 5: Killing Birds (1987) dir. Claudio Lattanzi

a.k.a. Raptors, Zombie Flesheathers 4

What's that in the sky? Is it a bird? A winged zombie? No! It's a-- fear projection? On this episode of Hello! This is the Doomed Show, your intrepid investigative journalists Richard and Jeffrey, colloquially known as the "Woodpecker & Birdseed" of hard-hitting ornithology exposés, travel to Louisiana with an Italian film crew in search of random acts of bird violence. Instead, they discover the forgotten sexy origins of Nintendo, the future-flouting tuition rate at Yolo University, and the bigfoot-like teleportation abilities of the mythical ivory-billed woodpecker. Yes, these two cockatoos watch Zombie 5: Killing Birds (1987), a film in which no birds are harmed, and then squawk at you about it for over an hour. Their little bird hearts never give out. Make sure to clean their cages or else they'll use their weird bird toes to throw acid in your face. Just ask Robert Vaughn's eyeballs.

You can listen to the episode by visiting 
the show's Podomatic page or by examining the show archive.

Monday, August 24, 2015

PODCAST: Sex, Demons, & Death (1975) dir. Salvatore Bugnatelli

a.k.a. Diabolicamente... Letizia

Letizia? No, only Zuul. On this installment of Hello! This is the Doomed Show, Richard and Jeffrey ponder life's three greatest mysteries: Sex, Demons, and Death (1975). Funnily enough, those same three mysteries can get your IP flagged if you Google them all at once. (Hi, NSA, thanks for listening!) We watch Salvatore Bugnatelli's 1975.... exorcism film? Closeted werewolf drama? Remake of Pasolini's Teorema? Expose on housewife depression? Ode to masturbation? Socialist screed? Who knows, but there's a a bow-tied baby butler trumpeting the plight of the working class and he's adorable. Only two things are for sure: there's a whole lot of witchy business going on, and Letizia is certain to put the crystal whammy on you. Enjoy.

Diabolically,
Jeffrey & Richard

You can listen to the episode by visiting 
the show's Podomatic page or by examining the show archive.

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

PODCAST: Ghoulies (1984) dir. Luca Bercovici

Today on Hello! This is the Doomed Show, Richard and I bite our tongues and attempt to answer the age-old question: How much goulash could a ghoulie gobble if a ghoulie could gobble goulash? In the dark of a toilet bowl, they assemble-- A flying raccoon! Your ugly aunt! Tiny, wet James Carville! In this satanic audio ceremony, your ghoulish hosts endure Ghoulies (1984) and wonder aloud if these crazy slime-kids will ever battle the horrors of illiteracy and make their way To College. So pop on your 3-D glasses, slap on a living Ghoulie bracelet, hug your nearest Toad Boy, and keep an eye on the teleporting clown puppet. Remember: You don't love us, you just pretend, and we'll get you in the end.

You can listen to the episode by visiting 
the show's Podomatic page or by examining the show archive.

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

PODCAST: Five Women for the Killer (1974) dir. Stelvio Massi

a.k.a. 5 donne per l'assassino

Q: What do call a killer who wants to kill five women instead of one? A: A polygoremist! Grasp your inflatable pig and empty out your J&B ashtray for yet another thrilling adventure on Hello! This is the Doomed Show. Your hosts for this installment, Richard and Jeffrey, peep the relatively obscure giallo Five Women for the Killer (1974) in celebration of the publication of Richard's book, Giallo Meltdown: A Moviethon Diary, which is probably the best thing to spend your hard-earned bitcoins on this week. In the course of their discussion, they ponder such questions as: Why doesn't Palumbo have his own weekly detective show? How many hearts has Aunt Martha broken in her life? Who got the score's session musicians drunk? Is it still legal in Italy to feed newborn babies gumdrops? Gosh, don't ask us, we merely watched the thing!

You can listen to the episode by visiting 
the show's Podomatic page or by examining the show archive.