Monday, August 24, 2015

PODCAST: Sex, Demons, & Death (1975) dir. Salvatore Bugnatelli

a.k.a. Diabolicamente... Letizia

Letizia? No, only Zuul. On this installment of Hello! This is the Doomed Show, Richard and Jeffrey ponder life's three greatest mysteries: Sex, Demons, and Death (1975). Funnily enough, those same three mysteries can get your IP flagged if you Google them all at once. (Hi, NSA, thanks for listening!) We watch Salvatore Bugnatelli's 1975.... exorcism film? Closeted werewolf drama? Remake of Pasolini's Teorema? Expose on housewife depression? Ode to masturbation? Socialist screed? Who knows, but there's a a bow-tied baby butler trumpeting the plight of the working class and he's adorable. Only two things are for sure: there's a whole lot of witchy business going on, and Letizia is certain to put the crystal whammy on you. Enjoy.

Diabolically,
Jeffrey & Richard

You can listen to the episode by visiting 
the show's Podomatic page or by examining the show archive.

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

PODCAST: Ghoulies (1984) dir. Luca Bercovici

Today on Hello! This is the Doomed Show, Richard and I bite our tongues and attempt to answer the age-old question: How much goulash could a ghoulie gobble if a ghoulie could gobble goulash? In the dark of a toilet bowl, they assemble-- A flying raccoon! Your ugly aunt! Tiny, wet James Carville! In this satanic audio ceremony, your ghoulish hosts endure Ghoulies (1984) and wonder aloud if these crazy slime-kids will ever battle the horrors of illiteracy and make their way To College. So pop on your 3-D glasses, slap on a living Ghoulie bracelet, hug your nearest Toad Boy, and keep an eye on the teleporting clown puppet. Remember: You don't love us, you just pretend, and we'll get you in the end.

You can listen to the episode by visiting 
the show's Podomatic page or by examining the show archive.

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

PODCAST: Five Women for the Killer (1974) dir. Stelvio Massi

a.k.a. 5 donne per l'assassino

Q: What do call a killer who wants to kill five women instead of one? A: A polygoremist! Grasp your inflatable pig and empty out your J&B ashtray for yet another thrilling adventure on Hello! This is the Doomed Show. Your hosts for this installment, Richard and Jeffrey, peep the relatively obscure giallo Five Women for the Killer (1974) in celebration of the publication of Richard's book, Giallo Meltdown: A Moviethon Diary, which is probably the best thing to spend your hard-earned bitcoins on this week. In the course of their discussion, they ponder such questions as: Why doesn't Palumbo have his own weekly detective show? How many hearts has Aunt Martha broken in her life? Who got the score's session musicians drunk? Is it still legal in Italy to feed newborn babies gumdrops? Gosh, don't ask us, we merely watched the thing!

You can listen to the episode by visiting 
the show's Podomatic page or by examining the show archive.

Thursday, May 21, 2015

PODCAST: Demons 6: De Profundis (1989) dir. Luigi Cozzi

a.k.a. Il gatto nero (The Black Cat)

Once Upon a Time, Italian horror maestro Dario Argento was too busy to make the third Three Mothers film (after his Suspiria [1977] and Inferno [1980]), so his fellow spaghetti-slinger Luigi Cozzi made it for him. Thus was Demons 6: De Profundis (1989) begat. Everyone lived happily ever after, except they were all stuck in wheelchairs. Richard and I once again plunge headfirst into the haunted mirror of bizarre Italian trashterpieces on this latest installment of Hello! This is the Doomed Show. Join us and learn how to pop your witch pimples, when touching children is discouraged, the volumizing secret behind Caroline Munro's hair poof, and tips and tricks concerning zen and the art of refrigerator maintenance. Listeners, never forget: YOU ARE NOT LEVANA. You're just living in her world. So hide the baby, say your prayers, press play, and hold on to your gut. We're going cosmic.


You can listen to the episode by visiting 
the show's Podomatic page or by examining the show archive.


Monday, April 20, 2015

PODCAST: The Toolbox Murders (1978) dir. Dennis Donnelly

On this latest rousing installment of Hello! This is the Doomed Show, Richard and I take out the old tool-attache and use its contents to hammer out another piece of splendorous downloadable audio. We play The Hardy Boys in this audio caper, solving The Mystery of The Toolbox Murders (1978). If we learned anything at all, it's that what we witnessed was decidedly Not Mash (XXX). Cameron Mitchell, purple lollipops, and country western ballads scoring horrific murders: what could be more wholesome than that? So join us in this heartwarming adventure into the heart of the toolbox. We promise it will make you sweat. DISCLAIMER: Any off-color jokes are copyright "Richard G. Schmidt 2015" and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of Nessun Timore or its subsidiaries. Any and all jokes about the size, shape, or dampness of Cameron Mitchell's head are copyright "Me 2015" and probably reflect more about their author than I'd care to admit.

You can listen to the episode by visiting 
the show's Podomatic page or by examining the show archive.