Thursday, May 21, 2015

PODCAST: Demons 6: De Profundis (1989) dir. Luigi Cozzi

a.k.a. Il gatto nero (The Black Cat)

Once Upon a Time, Italian horror maestro Dario Argento was too busy to make the third Three Mothers film (after his Suspiria [1977] and Inferno [1980]), so his fellow spaghetti-slinger Luigi Cozzi made it for him. Thus was Demons 6: De Profundis (1989) begat. Everyone lived happily ever after, except they were all stuck in wheelchairs. Richard and I once again plunge headfirst into the haunted mirror of bizarre Italian trashterpieces on this latest installment of Hello! This is the Doomed Show. Join us and learn how to pop your witch pimples, when touching children is discouraged, the volumizing secret behind Caroline Munro's hair poof, and tips and tricks concerning zen and the art of refrigerator maintenance. Listeners, never forget: YOU ARE NOT LEVANA. You're just living in her world. So hide the baby, say your prayers, press play, and hold on to your gut. We're going cosmic.


You can listen to the episode by visiting 
the show's Podomatic page or by examining the show archive.


Monday, April 20, 2015

PODCAST: The Toolbox Murders (1978) dir. Dennis Donnelly

On this latest rousing installment of Hello! This is the Doomed Show, Richard and I take out the old tool-attache and use its contents to hammer out another piece of splendorous downloadable audio. We play The Hardy Boys in this audio caper, solving The Mystery of The Toolbox Murders (1978). If we learned anything at all, it's that what we witnessed was decidedly Not Mash (XXX). Cameron Mitchell, purple lollipops, and country western ballads scoring horrific murders: what could be more wholesome than that? So join us in this heartwarming adventure into the heart of the toolbox. We promise it will make you sweat. DISCLAIMER: Any off-color jokes are copyright "Richard G. Schmidt 2015" and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of Nessun Timore or its subsidiaries. Any and all jokes about the size, shape, or dampness of Cameron Mitchell's head are copyright "Me 2015" and probably reflect more about their author than I'd care to admit.

You can listen to the episode by visiting 
the show's Podomatic page or by examining the show archive.

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

PODCAST: The Bloodsucker Leads the Dance (1975) dir. Alfredo Rizzo

a.k.a. La sanguisuga conduce la danza

This time on Hello! This is the Doomed Show, Richard and I brave what lurks beyond the Castlevania menu screen and somehow stumble into the cursed, possibly doubly haunted island mansion of the vaguely Eastern European Count Tommy Wiseau alongside a troupe of out-of-work actors in turn-of-the-century Ireland. Sure, why not. We watch The Bloodsucker Leads the Dance (1975), in which neither bloodsucking nor dancing figure, but a puff-balled sleep stocking cap does. Go figure! Murder is afoot, and everyone's guilty. But Richard and I are guiltiest. In the immortal, waterlogged words of William "Rizzo" Shakespeare, "All the world's a podcast. But sometimes it isn't." Listen in:

You can listen to the episode by visiting 
the show's Podomatic page or by examining the show archive.


Monday, February 2, 2015

PODCAST: Bloody Moon (1981) dir. Jess Franco

a.k.a. Die Säge des Todes

This time on Hello! This is the Doomed Show, Ricardo and Jeffréy travel to España and don't neglect to pack their tennis rackets and glittery Grace Jones pullovers. They behold the glow of Jess Franco's slasher-cum-giallo epic Bloody Moon (1981), in which the traditional flesh and blood psycho is replaced by a floppy singing saw. Snakes are pruned, babies are shook, the Zodiac Killer is born, and Mickey Mouse is slandered: it's a mere 90 minutes work for Tio Jess. Prepare yourselves, loyal listeners, for another audio entry from our repertoire of chilling tales...

You can listen to the episode by visiting 
the show's Podomatic page or by examining the show archive.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

PODCAST: The Kindred (1987) dir. Stephen Carpenter, Jeffrey Obrow

This time on Hello! This is the Doomed Show, Richard and I turn the slime hose on and leave it gushing for over two hours. So watch where you step. We watch Stephen Carpenter and Jeffrey Obrow's 1987 documentary medical drama The Kindred, chronicling the journey of a young woman who turns into a fish. Also, capturing the first timid tracks of tens of tentacled test-tube terrors. And: celebrating the brave attempt of a doctor to quite smoking by way of his boombox. Sure, it's heavier stuff than we usually grapple with on the podcast, but, hell, slime is heavy. Just ask Rod Steiger's hat. Come, press your ears betwixt some cold shrimp, and dive deep into another decidedly goopy aural adventure with Richard, me, and Bunki Z.

You can listen to the episode by visiting 
the show's Podomatic page or by examining the show archive.